The Blog From The Smog

Now Then World by Teessider Forever

First Published: 20/10/2009 09:02:53

As may have gathered from my self-appointed cyber-nickname I'm from Teesside. Born in Stockton-on-Tees, I spent my formative years growing up in Billingham. Since then I've been around a little bit and now reside in Sheffield.

This is the blog from the smog. Obviously it isn't because I don't live in Teesside at present, but I've called it that because it's a little bit catchier than the blog from someone originating from Teesside who no longer lives there.

Sheffield is about a hundred miles south of Teesside in South Yorkshire. Ahhh Yorkshire. The place where people are "born 'n' bred". Whatever that means? I understand the born bit, after all I was born, however what's this bred bit all about? Surely the bred or breading bit is the forerunner of the born bit. If so not only is it superfluous, it's also a*** about face.

Unless of course, bred means brought up. Then it all makes sense. Anyway you can't knock the Yorkshires as they make a lovely pudding. Here's a thought! How come Champagne has to be from a certain region of France, and Balsamic vinegar must come from some place in Italy, where-as Yorkshire Pudding, perhaps the most famous of all puddings and the only one I can think of that you eat with your dinner, can be made anywhere?

Wouldn't it be great it they had to be made in Yorkshire... and I mean made, properly, from scratch, not Aunt Bessie-asized. So how would that work? You'd need great big ovens on the boundary of Yorkshire. A sort of Maginot line of pudding ovens. So for Teesside that would be somewhere like, I dunno, Northallerton. Then every Sunday the absolute precision and logistics required to get the Yorkshires to rise out of the baking tray, would be compounded by the necessity for a dash up the A19 to the dining tables of Teesside and beyond. There would need be a fleet of little vans, a bit like those Tetley Tea jobs you used to see, for ferrying the puddings to your door as you wait knife and fork in hand. Then the decision as to whether or not you have an extra Yorkshire would need to factor in your food miles, your carbon footprint and what not.

"Mam, Mam here's the pudding van" would be the cry as the final piece of the Sunday dinner two-wheeled round the bend into your street.

So what are these blog (sorry TLog) entries gonna be about? About 500 to 1000 words probably? Haha! Well, I have no concrete plans really so they'll be about just about anything really. [See earlier discussion on Yorkshire Pudding] Teesside, will get a mention, as will Sheffield, and I hope they'll be interesting, insightful, and/or funny. But this all new to me and so it's a bit suck it and see at the moment.

I also hope that these blog entries will be accessible to all. I have read other blogs and not really understood what they were about. Maybe it's just me not understanding the subject or domain, or I'm not in that clique, but sometimes I can't even see what is trying to be said and what is the point in trying to say it. I suppose that's the beauty of the internet. Once upon a time our ability to broadcast our thoughts to the world was regulated by publishers and other men in suits. Now just about anyone could do it. That's not to say they should.

As I have said these blogs will likely make reference to Teesside, however if your knowledge of this beautiful area of Europe is limited this should not limit your enjoyment. Not knowing where Seaton Carew is and that there's a café there that does a competitively priced fish and chip lunch is not a prerequisite. I might also use a bit of the lingo, I can't help it really, but you should be able to work your way around that.

I've also noticed that some blogs can be a bit, I dunno, bland and grey I suppose. Of a lunchtime I often peruse the BBC website Add BBC to favourites, every now and again some of the content is presented in a blog format. For some reason I tend to skip over those pages. I'm not sure why? Perhaps they represent to much of an investment within the time constraints of a lunch hour, or the concentration levels that would lead to even more sandwich disappearing between the keys of my keyboard. There will be a conscious effort to make this blog more lunch hour and keyboard-friendly.

Speaking of the BBC website Add BBC to favourites. I mean it's great and all, and lunchtimes and my keyboard wouldn't be the same without it, but who the hell is paying for that then? Is that my license fee or what? I mean, I'm not over the moon about paying for the radio part. Radio 1 Add Radio 1 to favourites is a bit too dancey, dancey, boom, boom for me sometimes, Chris Moyles and his paid-for friends and sycophants seem to be treading a familiar root, and the only one worth a listen is Scott Mills. MOYLES OUT, MILLS IN, MOYLES OUT, MILLS IN! However, paying for BBC Radio is historic and traditional so fair dos, whatever. The website however, that's a whole different teapot of trout. How much is that costing us to uniquely fund? What's the game there? I mean it is good. I myself particularly like the gossip in the Football section. "Downing's off to Spurs" - The Mirror, "Downing's going nowhere" - The Sun, "Something not even vaguely interesting happened in Scottish football" - The Daily Record. But the clue is in the WWW. It's worldwide, so why is it only us in Rip-off Britain, in particular me, who have to pay for it. I know they deny access to non-UK users to some off the streaming content, but that almost makes it worse. The one time when I've really needed it, when I was in Vancouver a few years ago and Boro were playing Man United in the cup, and all the pubs were shut (well it was breakfast time) and I couldn't get access to the commentary on Five bleeding Live. I paid for that!

[Rant over]

See you next time?

Captain Technology: Melvis, new job, first day

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A general and mostly ill-informed rant about the world and beyond from an ever so slightly cynical northerner.
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